Meet Magda

How can I explain what people like Magda mean to me?!

There are just no words.

There are also no words to describe people like her. Not only does she speak right from my Soul, she also is one of the most amazing and interesting human beings I have ever "met".

Her lifestyle is inspiring and her words make you brave.

 

 

 

• Introduce yourself

Hi. I’m Magda or Magdalena. I live in a one-room cabin in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado with my husband and business partner, Michael, and our dog, Shaney. I haven’t always lived here. In fact, much of my life has been spent living somewhere else. I started my journey in Warsaw, Poland where I was born and then life took me to a whole multitude of places, including over 15 US states. For years, I considered myself semi-nomadic, moving every 3-6 months. These days, I consider myself a die-hard Westerner and plan to live-out my days in this very cabin. It took a while, but I think I’ve finally found my place.

 

 

• Tell us briefly about your professional background and how you came to where you are today.

I’m reluctant to talk about myself professionally because I’ve spent much of my adult life defying a professional existence. A while back though, on my quest to become a writer, I went to a 3-year graduate program for poetry and it almost killed me. I love to learn, but I felt out of place in the box that academia often feels like, so after finishing my degree, I stopped writing, bought 5 acres in the middle of nowhere and my husband and I built a 120-sq foot off-the-grid cabin. I needed such an extreme experience to cleanse my mind of “the academy.” It took a while, but I returned to teaching, but only this time around, I teach exclusively online, which helps me to maintain my way of life, yet engage with my students in a way that fosters my creativity and honors who I am as a person without having to ‘sell my soul’ to any kind of institution. I also co-own a business with my husband, Mountain Trucker. When I’m not grading essays, I’m creating linoleum block prints and sewing hat labels by the fire.

 

• What’s the story of where and how you live?

My husband and I met on a rutabaga farm on the coast of Maine in September 2001. Shortly thereafter, we packed up my Jeep and took a long road-trip across the United States in search of wide-open and unpeopled places -- the kinds of places that have always appealed to me most. That road trip seemed like it lasted for 14 years, that is, until last year when we found this cabin in the mountains and discovered that this is where we belong. Up until that point, we were (as I said before) semi-nomadic. We crisscrossed the United States over two dozen times and spent countless months and months and months living in the back of our truck while exploring the American West and all of its wild spaces. It was a grand adventure while it lasted, but we got to a point where we needed some kind of rootedness. That surprised me as I’d never ever felt rooted, perhaps an outgrowth of being a political exile back in the early 1980’s. But this little 600-square foot cabin, surrounded by 14,000-foot mountains is just what we need. We’re only six miles from town where we have a grocery store, a brewery and a couple good restaurants. Otherwise, our time is spent almost entirely outside, which is why we live here. We came for the mountains, for quietude, to drown out the constant din of a loud-loud world.

 

 

• What does a typical day look like for you?

I wake up, sit by the woodstove and drink my coffee. Then it’s off to the mountains for a few hours to explore with the dog. If the trails are dry, I’m running. If the trails are snow-covered, I’m skiing. When the long winter evenings set in, I become more creative and produce more illustrations and work on designs for our business. Somewhere in between being outside ...and being outside (smile), I chime into the classes that I’m teaching. Luckily my teaching schedule is flexible, which means it caters to time spent in the mountains each day.

 

• Are there any challenges to the way and where you live?

Even living in a pristine setting like we do, I find that my demons haunt me. By that I mean that I have to work hard to resist being a jaded person, a person who feels disheartened by the state of the world. The mountains give me sanity, a sense of self and balance, but when you live remotely sometimes you become detached from the realities of the world and this can either sensitize or desensitize you, depending on who you are. I’m a sensitive person. I’m an introvert who winces at the plethora of global injustices. I think the biggest challenge of living here is trying to balance the peaceful and quiet existence that I safeguard so much with a conscientious awareness and activism that allows me to be a good global citizen. I don’t want to be detached, but at the same time, I’m trying to honor my limitations as a person. I know how much I can and can’t handle.

 

 

• How did your family and friend react?

Ha. I’m almost 40. My family and small circle of friends have known me long enough to know that living here suits me (and Michael) perfectly. It wasn’t always an easy road and it was often met with quite a bit of resistance because I’ve always been pretty independently-minded and felt on the fringe, but if there’s one thing I’m skilled at, it’s standing alone and living according to what feels true and right. I won’t give that up for anything and usually that’s something that folks can respect, even if they don’t agree with what you’re doing. On the flip-side, a cabin-in-the-mountains seems to be something that a lot of people long for these days, you know, a simpler way of life. Most people don’t disagree that a simpler way of living -- especially when chosen deliberately -- is full of mind-body goodness.

 

• How are you similar to/different from your family/friends?

Of the people who are closest to me, we have enough in common to help us feel connected, but I won’t deny that I’ve always felt like an outsider, never part of the mainstream. In fact, what’s often ‘mainstream’ feels like a slow death to me. These days, I try not to dwell too much on human differences since it tends to feed my social anxiety. Instead, I try to just stay true to who I am and live an honest life. If that serves as a magnet for human connections, I welcome that, but as I tend towards (and appreciate) being an introvert, I find that the fewer people I have in my inner circle, the better off I fair. It’s a hard truth that took me a while to accept about myself, but at long last I have.

 

 

• What words of advice would you offer to folks wanting to live the life you do?

Stay true to yourself. Honor your uniqueness. Protect your right to living a FREE life. Time is more important than money, so safeguard your time. Say no to things that don’t matter. Deny materialism beyond that which allows you to live in modest comfort. Spend as much time outside as you can. Listen to your gut and trust that the path you want for yourself is the path that you deserve and follow it, no matter what anyone else thinks.

 

 

• What’s up next for you?

You know, I consider this question a lot less than I used to. When I was younger, I was obsessed with the future at the expense of the here-and-now. These days, a slower and less future-oriented unfolding of my life feels right. Maybe that means that I’m more content than I ever have been before. Maybe that means I live in a good place surrounded by good people. I mean, yes, I have desires to continue to travel and explore, but for the first time in my life staying put feels good. One day, I’ll get around to publishing something, maybe that manuscript of poems from my grad school days, but for now I like waking up and not worrying about tomorrow. I like not being obsessed with accomplishments. I also know that I live a deliberate life so if next month I want to jump on a plane and revisit Nepal for few weeks or months, I will. I also know that if I want to hide-out in the mountains for the next few years without doing a goddamned thing, that’s exactly what I’ll do.

 

 

//

To visit her shop click here: http://www.mountaintrucker.com/

 

Meet Franse – ein Mädel so leicht und erfrischend wie eine Brise am Strand und so tief(-sinnig) wie das Meer selbst.

Nichts möchte man lieber tun, als sie zu umarmen, mit ihr über das Leben reden und über den ganz normalen Wahnsinn lachen.

(So geht es mir jedenfalls)

 

 

Stell dich vor & beschreibe dich

Vor ziemlich genau 30 Jahren habe ich das Licht der Welt als Franziska erblickt. In der Jugend kam neben dem Spitznamen Franny auch Franse dazu. Online kennt man mich meist als Franse liebt Meer, denn ich lebe in Kiel am Meer, bin am Meer geboren und aufgewachsen. Durch meine Adern fließt Salzwasser und horcht man das Herz ab, glaubt man die Wellen rauschen zu hören.

 

 Was machst du beruflich? Und was kreativ?

Erzähl uns etwas über deinen Blog.

Dieses Jahr brachte für mich viele neue Wendungen mit sich und neben dem Studienabschluss ging es schnurstracks in den Job. Mit dem Master in Internationaler Politik und Internationalem Recht sehen die Mitmenschen dich bei den Vereinten Nationen, mich hingegen hat es direkt in eine Behörde verschlagen und dort arbeite ich sehr nah mit und für Menschen mit Behinderungen. Die Teilhabe von Menschen mit Behinderungen ist mir eine Herzensangelegenheit, die ich in meinem Studium von der professionellen Seite aus angehen konnte. Die Kreativität leidet ganz sicher unter dem Berufseinstieg, aber mit jedem Tag der Eingewöhnung merke ich, dass sie zurückkommt. Grad jetzt habe ich zwei Projekte vorbereitet, die, wenn auch handwerklich, vor allem die kreative Ader ansprechen.

Mein Blog ‚Franse l(i)ebt Meer‘ ist eine Mischung aus Wohnen, Leben, Kreativität, Meer und manchmal auch der kritischen Auseinandersetzung mit allem was uns so umgibt. Seit einigen Jahren existiert er und bedarf ganz sicher einem Relaunch, doch derzeit haben andere Dinge im Leben Priorität ;)

 

 

Gibt es Weisheiten nach denen du lebst?

Oh ja! Kants kategorischer Imperativ hat mich sehr geprägt und so habe ich bestimmte Maxime, die ich für mich genauso anwende, wie ich sie durch andere angewendet wünsche. Wirr geschrieben, aber die meisten Menschen können sich da vermutlich gut hineindenken. Es gibt keine Weißheit, die über meinem Bett prangert oder ähnliches, aber mir ist immer sehr wichtig, dass man allen Mitmenschen mit Respekt begegnet und ein hohes Maß an Toleranz lebt.

 

 Dein Lieblingszitat?

 „Go your own way“ ist eindeutig das Lieblingszitat, dass mich durch mein Leben trägt. - Dazu auch immer gern nochmal das Lied von Fleetwood Mac angespielt. J

 

 

Der beste Rat, den du erhalten hast?

Im Laufe der Jahre ist mir aufgefallen, dass einem vieles geraten wird, dass eigentlich nur hemmt. Allerdings wurde mir immer gesagt, dass das Leben für jeden eine eigene Aufgabe, ein Ziel parat hat und man die Herausforderung einfach nur annehmen muss. Ein anderer Rat ist „Mach dir weniger Gedanken, es kommt besser als man sich zuvor ausmalen konnte.“

 

 Wofür bist du am meisten dankbar im Leben?

In erster Linie verdanke ich meiner Mutter eine Erziehung, die mich zu einem reflektierten und starken Menschen gemacht hat. Sie hat mir beigebracht nicht als Egoist durchs Leben zu gehen und immer ein wenig des inneren Kindes zu bewahren.

 

 

 Was war der schönste Moment deines Lebens?

Welcher der schmerzhafteste?

Im Leben gibt es so unglaublich viele schöne Momente und wenn man genau hinsieht, dann sind es nicht immer die großen Dinge, die besonders sind. Vermutlich ist die Geburt des eigenen Kinder so ein Moment, aber jetzt zu sagen, dass es das Erreichen meines Masterabschlusses war, werde ich später bestimmt revidieren.

Der schmerzhafteste Moment war ganz sicher der Tod meiner Mutter. Es ist als bricht ein Teil deines eigenen Lebens zusammen, du kannst kaum noch atmen, fühlst dich müde und leer. Es ist als würde man dir einen Arm abreißen, nur dass dabei obendrein noch das Herz gebrochen wird. Auch wenn man sich in manchen Fällen auf den nahenden Tod vorbereiten kann, wirklich begreifbar oder leichter erträglich macht das nichts.

 

 Durch Instagram – und später durch unseren Austausch – habe ich erfahren, dass deine Familie aus deiner Schwester und dir besteht. Kannst du uns mehr darüber erzählen? Welche Emotionen verbindest du damit? Fällt es dir schwer damit zu leben?

Meine Schwester ist theoretisch mein letztes Familienmitglied. Nachdem meine Großmutter verstorben ist, war da niemand mehr, den man als Familie bezeichnen konnte. Klar gibt es diese Großcousinen oder irgendwelche angeheirateten Großtanten, aber es sind der Kontakt und die Nähe nicht da. Deshalb ist für mich meine Schwester mit ihrer kleinen Familie auch meine Familie. Mit der Zeit hat sich allerdings mein Familienbegriff ein wenig gewandelt und ich sehe bestimmte, sehr gute Freunde oder auch meinen Freund als Familie an. Aber dazu braucht es einen langen gemeinsamen und vertrauensvollen Weg.

 

 

Was hilft dir in schweren Zeiten positiv und stark zu bleiben?

Seltsamerweise bin ich jemand der nach außen wahnsinnig stark wirkt und tatsächlich habe ich in den schwersten Situationen meines Lebens immer nur kurz innehalten müssen, um dann volle Kraft voraus, alle Steine aus dem Weg zu räumen. Diese unglaubliche Stärke verdanke ich ganz sicher meiner Mutter, die mir gezeigt hat, dass es immer einen Weg gibt. Der Begriff Resilienz drückt genau das aus, was ich als meine größte Ressource sehe. Übrigens helfen mir ein Blick auf die immer wiederkehrenden Wellen und das Rauschen des Meeres, die Kontrolle zu behalten und mich selbst zu finden.

 

 Hast du Träume?

Träume sind so etwas Wundervolles. Einen der größten Wünsche, der mein Leben auch positiv beeinflussen wird, habe ich mir mit dem Studium erfüllt. Für mich ist es aber schon seit meiner Kindheit einfach nur toll immer wieder neue Ideen zu spinnen und manch eine wird halt irgendwann wahr. Doch das Schönste ist für mich, die Träume aufzuschreiben, sich hineinzudenken und so manchen Tagtraum darauf zu verschenken.

 

 

Was bedeutet Freiheit für dich?

Der Freiheitsbegriff in all seinen Facetten hat mich im Studium stark begleitet. Für mich persönlich bedeutet Freiheit zu sein wer ich bin und mich auch entziehen zu dürfen, wenn manche Dinge mir zu viel werden. Die eigene Freiheit darf nie so weit gehen, dass anderen Menschen ihre Freiheit genommen wird, aber man selbst sollte sich wiederum nie von anderen in den eigenen freien Gedanken und Handlungen einschränken lassen.

Wo würdest du leben wollen, wenn du frei entscheiden könntest?

Einer meiner Träume ist seit jeher eine Auswanderung in ein Land, das schöner ist als man es sich in der Phantasie ausmalt. Norwegen ist für mich genau das. Die Sprache zu lernen, auch wenn noch überhaupt nichts geplant ist und sich mit Land und Leuten vertraut zu machen, gehören für mich einfach dazu.

 

 

Bist du glücklich?

Momentan verspüre ich eigentlich täglich in so vielen Situationen sehr großes Glück. Für mich ist Glück eng mit Dankbarkeit verbunden und wenn man erst einmal begriffen hat, dass Neid und ewige Vergleiche mit anderen Menschen vollkommen kontraproduktiv sind, wacht man oft schon morgens mit einem Lachen auf den Lippen auf.

 

 

Where the Mountains Meet the Sea: Gwen and Gawie Fagan on creating their dream house

you can read the interview here:

http://www.freundevonfreunden.com/interviews/where-the-mountains-meet-the-sea-gwen-and-gawie-fagan-on-creating-their-dream-home-from-the-ground-up/


and watch another video of their amazing house here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMDi6CpN024

Meet Nikiya

Meet Nikiya –

When I first saw Nikiyas picture on a social media platform, I instantly knew she was my kind of woman. Her face, her eyes, everything had such deepness, such strength. I wanted to know her story. I wanted to know what is behind all that. And now that I know her story, I love her even more. I am so happy and thankful she was willing to open up, answer my questions and share what's been on her mind with me, and now with you. 

I can assure you - if you're going through a hard time right now, you will feel so much better after reading her words.

-  Introduce yourself.

Hi there. My name is Nikiya (rhymes with Papaya). It’s a Pali name given to me by my mother, who changed the second vowel and sentencing me to a lifetime of mispronunciation. I think of her every time it happens. I live in a small community in the mountains of northern California. I’m a mama and an artist.

-  Describe yourself.

I am a woman re-learning and un-learning continually who I am. The concept of describing myself is difficult for me. I don’t feel any one way. I feel fluid, changeable, on a daily path of discovery. 

-  Besides being a mother, tell us what you do.

That’s been another recent discovery. Before having children at age 30, I was pretty aimless. I didn’t know who I was or what I was supposed to be doing, let alone what I wanted to do. I knew I wanted children and I knew I wanted to be home with them while they were young. So now I am finding/redefining myself again, outside of motherhood. I do lots of things. I am firstly a designer. I have a lifelong interest in the world around us, how we live, specifically how we create our micro realities in a home. So I create spaces and help other people turn theirs into something they love. I also work at several retail stores and do some social media marketing. I’m working on a side project at the moment with my photographer friend in the hopes of publishing a book on the counter-culture generation and their offspring, their artistic contributions, and the unique way they have inhabited this area. I love to play in the river. I love to take walks in the rain. I enjoy reading. I have a long-term relationship with the world of Buddhism and meditation and psychology. 

-  Tell us briefly about your professional background and how you came to where you are today.

I don’t have a professional background, per se. For many years I trained with my father as a metal-smith and jeweler, a trade he learned from my grandfather. I  did it off and on for a decade until deciding to go back to college for an undergraduate degree. I’ve done all sorts of other odd jobs, but have always been drawn to art and creativity as well as people and relationships, particularly how those things manifest in the world around us. I became certified in Feng-Shui and found it to be a wonderful adjunct to my existing love of space and placement and finding some meaning to what was an already intuitive sense of how things flow in our physical surroundings. My undergraduate studies began as Environmental Studies, but quickly moved over to the humanities. I needed up making my own major infusing Environmental Studies, Eastern Religion, Anthropology, Sociology which makes so much sense to me now. I am fascinated by how we form relationships to ourselves and our surroundings. Currently I do a fair bit of design work, but with an emphasis on what’s working and not working and how that relates to our inner world.

-  What do you like most about your job?

 I love transforming a space and equally working with people. I am endlessly fascinated with our humanity, how we struggle, what makes our hearts sing, the similarities and the differences. 

-  What does a typical day look like with your children?

 No day feels typical lately. Since separating, there has been a disruption in our routine. I’m finding i do it a little differently than their dad does, but I’m also craving the routine again. During my week with them (we alternate week on, week off) we get up, get ready for school and walk over. They go to school in the same building I did as a kid for a few years, although their school is Waldorf Charter. They usually walk themselves home. Our lives are pretty seasonally oriented. In this warm weather, we are often heading off to the river and having late dinner. In winter it’s cozy time. Both of my girls are prolific artists, so there is a heavy bit of that happening or some form of dress up happening in our home. 

-  How are you different and similar to your own mother?

 I like to think we are vastly different, but the truth is there are some core similarities that are undeniable. She has been a drug addict my entire life. She was 18 when I was born. She had no idea who she was or how to care for herself, let alone a baby. She had another child a little over a year later and that child, (my sister) and I ended up spending most of our time with my maternal grandparents. She is currently in a Women’s prison. I’ve seen her once in the past decade or more. She is not someone I am close to as a person or a mother. That said, there are qualities I inherited from her, qualities I admire in her, that also make me who I am. She is very sensitive and empathetic. She’s an artist and music was a huge part of her life. She was pretty poor, but she always made a cozy, beautiful home. She thinks outside of the box and even if she’s afraid of something, she will walk toward it. She was an outlier, an outlaw. I get a lot of my rebellious, unafraid nature from her. I am equally sensitive and aware of what’s going on with the people around me. And like all people our attributes the flip side of things we struggle with. Her empathic nature and incredible sensitivity play a part in why she needed to medicate herself. She was in a lot of pain and probably couldn’t handle it, lacking in much familiar support or understanding. She wasn’t able to raise any of her four kids and has more or less gone down a destructive path. I have those tendencies for sure, but I have enough of her fighting qualities and enough of an optimistic spirit that I am committed to seeing through my stuff and transforming it into healing. I struggled with aspects of early motherhood, attachment and vulerability, but I haven’t left my kids, and I’m working diligently at being present to myself and my life. I’m not saying I’ve aced it. I am very disembodied at any given moment, but rather than sailing off into sleep and oblivion, I want to be awake and alive. 

-  You recently posted a photo with a very touching and unusual caption on instagram – can you tell us more about it? 

That post was a public show of acceptance that while my life has not turned out with the fairy tale ending we are fed to believe will come to pass, I am happy. I love the father of my kids, more so all of the time. I want them to see that love, to feel it most importantly. I want to encourage them, others, an ultimately myself, that the human heart is capable of an immensity we sometimes can’t imagine when we are in pain. It was a way of rejoicing in the reality of my life from this place of acceptance, which is not resignation. I am excited to parent in the way we are. I am relieved to feel warmth and good will return to a situation that felt volatile and hopeless. Seeing my girls adoration of their father, in turn, increases my adoration. 

-  Did you ever had a feeling your marriage wasn’t going to make it? Can you recall those feelings at all? 

Yes, from early on. Maybe always. Our relationship was not a fairy tale. We didn’t get legally  married until a little over a year before we separted, after 16 years. From it’s beginnings it was fraught with confusion, on both of our parts. But we also loved each other deeply and didn’t question that we had some kind of karma here to work out. When we got pregnant with our first daughter, an act of intention, we really surrendered to the relationship. Through the birth of the second we just kind of settled into the routine of early childhood some pretty traditional gender roles, something I do not recommend, but don’t see still how we as women are encouraged or able to be creative and independent people and also the primary caregivers of our young. Anyway, somewhere around the toddlerhood of our second child, it was obvious we were slipping into a state of despair around the relationship. We tried all kinds of things to make it work, but in the end, decided parting ways was our only real option. The irony is that there is no end and there is no parting ways with someone with which you share children, at least for us. 

-  What was/is the grieving process like and the ebb and flow of emotions?

 Brutal. I really thought leaving was going to kill me. I spent the first year living in my own house crying, shaking, enraged that this was my life. I never wanted to be away from my kids. It felt so unfair to have invested so much and then to have to give up the thing I love most in the world to a life of half-time parenting. I had weeks where I wan’t sure I could carry on. But they need their dad, too. And he needed to be a force in their lives the way I had been. He’s an exceptional father and human being and it never felt right to fight over them.  I have had to figure out how to be a totally different kind of mother and woman. I’m not out of the woods. Every transition day when they go with him is difficult. But it’s gotten easier. And now he and I learning who we are outside of the stories we had of each other and the ways our dynamic was getting in the way of our connection. I still miss him, miss being in a family unit that lives under one roof. Our resources are spread thin. There’s nothing efficient about having two households, but the emotional cost of continuing was greater than we could afford, so here we are. We love each other in a way supersedes what’s gone on. We’ve watched each other have other lovers and move about in each other’s lives as separate people. I like it like this. I appreciate that we have these two little beings that makes opting out of the difficulty a non-option. I feel happier now than I had in years in our relationship. It’s not anyone’s fault (though I remain a skeptic about the nuclear family and it’s success rates), we are just finding the path that feels right for us. 

-  Was/is there anything that helped you through the pain? Anything that didn’t help? 

I am a firm believer (having spent the better part of myself attempting the opposite) that the only way through something is just to be in it. To let it rip. To allow the pain to be felt as deeply and thoroughly as it needs to be felt. It’s never as bad as we imagine it’s going to be. It passes. It shifts. People that supported me being in pain without trying to change it was immensely helpful. We also both went into therapy and I cannot say enough how helpful it was. We found someone who supported alternative lifestyle options, that didn’t see separation as a failure, and who supported us in each becoming the truest versions of ourselves, and most importantly, to trust our own inner knowing and let the voices of fear and failure become background noise instead of the lead. What didn’t help was trying to hold on, letting the cultural values dictate our decisions, or listening folks who said we were destroying our children. I couldn’t disagree more. I have seen a marked and positive difference in each of my daughters as they witness their father and mother find their own happiness. 

-  What words of advice would you offer to a woman suffering from a divorce/separation? 

Be kind to yourself. As trite as it sounds, loving ourselves is the greatest gift we can give our children or anyone. Allowing them to see our grief is powerful and allows them to trust their own process and feelings. If there aren’t children, treating ourselves like we would a child is usually a good rule of thumb. In my experience the pain of separation had so much more to do with my own childhood wounding around abandonment and fear than it did with my adult reality. As I healed those wounds, I was able to walk through it and see it for what it was. There’s a loss, but there’s also a gain. So much is gleaned from heartbreak. It’s really one of the most tenderizing things we go though. I read “Broken Open” over and over. I needed to know that my heart wasn’t breaking, that it was opening. And I feel that now. 

-  Any advice you’d offer folks who would like to support a friend through such a time?

Be there, without judgement and without you own ideas as much as possible. Trust the process and the incredible human potential to heal.

-  Especially during such times, it’s important to take care of yourself. What is your beauty & wellness routine like? 

Sometimes it was as basic as taking a bath. I would do it multiple times a day when the going was really rough. I struggle with this one. Things I know would help I sometimes avoid, sleep, exercise, dance, mediation, making and eating whole foods. Really basic stuff ban go a long way toward health and wellness. Lots of time outside. That’s my salvation.

-  What’s up next for you, career wise? 

I’m not sure! I know I need to jump into another career stage if I’m going to be able to support my family and myself as we age and our needs increase. I am debating going to graduate school but in the meantime am focused on my design/lifestyle project, putting together a book from a project I am working on locally chronicling people in their spaces. I’ll do whatever I need to do to make ends meet, but i would love to say one day that I make decent money doing work that is rewarding. 

Meet Carel

Meet Carel –

Stell dich vor.

Mein Name ist Carel, ich bin 27 Jahre alt und komme ursprünglich aus Kamerun.
Ich habe hier (in Deutschland) studiert und arbeite nun in einem großen Unternehmen.
Ich bin nicht verheiratet und habe keine Kinder. Ich bin jedoch sicher, dass auch das mit der Zeit kommen wird.


Wie kam es dazu, dass du nach Deutschland kamst?

Ein Teil meiner Familie lebt schon länger hier und irgendwann meinten meine Eltern, dass auch ich nach Deutschland ziehen sollte, um meine schulische Bildung zu erweitern und zu verbessern.
Diesen Weg bin ich dann gegangen.
Natürlich war es risikoreich, diesen Schritt zu machen. Kamerun und Deutschland sind zwei verschiedene Welten. Jedoch lebe ich für Abenteuer, das ist und war mein Antrieb.
Außerdem habe ich großes Glück mit meinem Vater – schon früh sagte er mir „Carel, du bist grandios. Egal was du machst, schaffst du auch!“.

// Wie man in seinem früheren Blog sehen kann, ist Carels Leidenschaft die Mode. Ursprünglich war das auch sein Plan – Mode zu studieren. Als daraus nichts wurde, startete er einen Street Style Mode Blog. Indem er Leute auf der Straße fotografierte, deren Mode ihn inspirierte und dies dann online stellte, konnte er seine Liebe zur Mode trotzdem ein Stück weit ausleben.
Noch heute, nachdem sein Blog derzeit auf Eis liegt, erkennen ihn Menschen, denen er während der Zeit des Bloggens begegnet ist, auf der Straße oder in Clubs wieder.
Seiner Meinung nach sieht man wahre Mode nur auf der Straße. Da findet man echte Menschen, echte Mode, den besseren Style. Das ist seine Philosophie – die Kleidung der Person zeigt auch die Persönlichkeit des jeweiligen Menschen. „Ich finde es toll, wenn man sich nicht so kleidet, wie die Gesellschaft es gern hätte oder es vorgibt. Ich meine, man vertraut einem Banker weil er einen
Anzug trägt, aber das ist völliger Schwachsinn. Ich vertraue meinem Banker, auch wenn er morgen in einem Tank Top und einer Jeans zu unserem Termin erscheint. Denn, sagt ein Anzug aus, dass jemand zuverlässig ist? Ich denke nicht“, erzählt er weiter.

Trotz vieler Angebote von Menschen, die mit ihm zusammenarbeiten wollten, hat er stets dankend abgelehnt. Denn es ging Carel dabei nie um Geld. Das Wichtigste beim Bloggen war für ihn, innere Zufriedenheit zu spüren und diese kann man mit Geld nicht kaufen.

Selten trifft man auf einen so positiven Menschen wie Carel, der versucht, in jeder Situation das Gute zu sehen. „Das ist der Trick des Lebens. Sehe immer das Positive und die Welt liegt dir zu Füßen“. Das hat Carel, wie er sagt, aus einem vor kurzem gelesenen Buch (Das Café am Rande der Welt), das ihm die Augen geöffnet hat. „In dem Buch steht auch, dass wir unser Leben selbst kontrollieren. Es ist wie in einem Fernseher - es gibt so viele Programme und einen Schalter. Und wir selbst entscheiden, was wir sehen wollen und was nicht. Wenn wir uns für das Positive entscheiden und das dann auch verinnerlichen, wird das zu dem, was wir nach Außen strahlen“. //

Hast du ein Vorbild?

Schwer zu sagen, oder es auf nur einen Menschen zu reduzieren. Aber, Nelson Mandela ist definitiv eine sehr große Inspiration und spielt eine besondere Rolle in meinem Leben. Seine Taten, seine Philosophie – ich sehe das Leben genauso. Dass er trotz allem vergeben konnte und vergeben hat, ist unbeschreiblich. Das hat mich gelehrt, dass Vergebung alles ist. Es ist der erste Schritt zu allem. Man muss mit der Vergangenheit abschließen, ansonsten wird man dort festhängen.
Wenn man sich über Nelson Mandelas Leben informiert, wird man das Gefühl nicht los, dass alles was passiert ist, seine Bestimmung war und er dafür auf die Welt kam.


Gibt es Weisheiten, nach denen du lebst?

Ein paar habe ich ja schon genannt. Eine Weisheit, nach der ich lebe, fehlt in meiner Aufzählung allerdings noch: „if you can dream it, you can do it“.
Ich denke, dass es den Menschen überhaupt nicht bewusst oder klar ist, wie viel Macht sie und ihre Gedanken haben. Und deshalb vernachlässigen sie diese.
Ich glaube ganz fest daran, dass man das bekommt, wovon man den Tag über träumt oder woran man denkt. Uns muss bewusst werden, dass das Universum jedem das gibt, wovon er am meisten träumt. Deshalb, benutzt eure Gedanken. Das Leben ist wie ein Navigationssystem – es bringt dich immer wohin du willst.
Wir werden hier leider immer eingegrenzt, oder eingesperrt. Es heißt immer „du musst, du sollst“. Doch wer sagt das?! Wer setzt hier die Grenzen?! Wer hat gesagt, dass es bis hierher geht, aber weiter nicht?!
Deshalb, wenn ihr einen Wunsch habt, oder einen Traum - macht es einfach. Der Weg ist das Ziel und die Erfahrungen zählen. Ob es letztendlich klappt, oder nicht, spielt keine Rolle. Traut euch und versucht es einfach.


Wofür bist du im Leben am meisten dankbar?

Ich bin dankbar für das Leben, das ich führe. Dankbar dafür, dass ich das Leben führen kann, das ich möchte. Dankbar für meine Gesundheit. Ich bin dankbar für so vieles. Und ich nehme mir daher auch die Zeit, zum Beispiel vor dem Schlafen gehen, um meine Dankbarkeit auszusprechen. An wen auch immer.
Natürlich gibt es auch bei mir Dinge, über die ich mich beschweren könnte. Das will ich aber nicht. Es gibt Sachen, die nicht geklappt haben in meinem Leben. Aber es gibt gleichzeitig auch so viele Dinge, die geklappt haben. Und daran denke ich lieber.


Hast du Träume?

Da muss ich nicht lange überlegen – ich würde mir am liebsten einen Rucksack schnappen und damit durch die ganze Welt ziehen.
Was bedeutet Freiheit für dich?
Freiheit bedeutet für mich, dass man machen kann, was man will. Dass man in den Spiegel schauen und dabei denken kann „ich bin genau der Mensch, der ich sein möchte“.
Auch im Hier und Jetzt zu leben ist ein Freiheitsgefühl für mich. Wenn ich wählen müsste, Geld für später anzulegen oder damit jetzt auf Reisen zu gehen, würde ich definitiv verreisen. Denn, wer weiß was später einmal sein wird?!


Bist du glücklich?

JA. Sehr. Ich habe meinen Weg, und vor allem auch den Weg zu meinem Geist gefunden und seitdem sind mein Körper und Geist in Einklang.
Was war der glücklichste Moment in deinem Leben?
Momentan ist das schwer zu beantworten. Ein sehr, sehr positiver Moment in meinem Leben war, als letztes Jahr meine Nichte zur Welt kam. Als ich sie auf meinem Arm gehalten habe, war das ein unbeschreibliches Gefühl.

Was war der schmerzhafteste Moment deines Lebens?

Man verbindet dieses Schmerzhafte immer mit dem Tod oder einem Verlust. Ich habe bisher noch keinen mir nahestehenden Menschen verloren. Da bin ich sehr gesegnet.
Wenn jedoch so ein Moment kommen wird, werde ich meine Gefühle durch Meditation umkehren, sodass ich mich wieder wohlfühle und diesen Schmerz nicht ganz so stark fühle.


Wo würdest du leben wollen, wenn du wählen könntest?

Auf jeden Fall Japan. Ich bin ein absoluter Asien-Fan und eine Reise dorthin ist auch schon für nächstes Jahr geplant. Ich weiß zwar überhaupt nicht, was mich
dort erwartet, aber ich kann mir trotzdem vorstellen dort zu leben. Ich habe da einfach so ein Gefühl ….

//

Meet Carel –

Introduce yourself.

My name is Carel, I’m 27 years old and I am originally from Cameroon.
I studied here in Germany and am now working for a big company.
I’m not married and have no kids yet. But I am sure I’ll have that too, one day.


What’s the story behind your decision to move to Germany?

A part of my family was living here and when my parents told me I should also move to Germany, to get a better education, I just went for it.
Sure, it was a big decision and it came with risks, but I live for adventures and that is and was my motivation.
Also, I am so lucky to have my father. He always says “Carel, you’re grandiose. No matter what you do, you will succeed!”

// As you can see on Carel’s blog, his passion and big love is the fashion. Originally that was the plan – to study fashion. When it didn’t work out, he started a street style fashion blog. Carel took pictures of people on the street whose fashion inspired him and posted those pictures on his blog.
Even now, after his blog is placed on hold, he gets recognized from people in clubs or on the street.
In his opinion, you can find real fashion only on the street. There you find real people, real fashion and the better style.
This is his philosophy – the clothes a person wears, shows their personality.
“I think it’s great when you don’t dress yourself as the society would like you to dress.
I mean, you trust a banker because he’s wearing a suit, but this is such bullshit!
I trust my banker even if he’s going to come in a tank top and jeans to our next meeting. Because, does a suit tell you if or how reliable a person is? I don’t think so”, he continues.

Even though many people wanted to work or do a blog collaboration with him, he always thankfully declined. For Carel it was just never about the money. For him it’s always about feeling inner satisfaction, and you can’t buy that with money.

Rarely do you meet such a positive person like Carel. He always tries to see the Good in every situation. “That is the trick of life - always see the Positive and you’ll have the world at your feet”. That is also a quote from the book “The Why Are You Here Café”, which he recently read and opened his eyes.
“It also says we control our lives. It’s like a TV – we see what we want to see. If we choose to see the positive, it will become a part of us and we will slowly build a positive attitude.” //


Do you have a role model or someone you look up to?

Hard to say. Or to reduce it to only one person. But, Nelson Mandela is definitely a huge inspiration and plays a big role in my life. His actions, his philosophy – I see life the exact same way. The fact that he could, despite everything, forgive is just amazing. It taught me that forgiveness is everything. It’s the first step towards everything. You have to come to terms with your past, or you will forever be caught there.
If you get to read about Nelson Mandela’s life, you get the feeling he was born for everything that has happened to him. He was supposed to live through it all and it was his destiny.


Any wise words you live by?

I already named a few, but there is an important one missing: “if you can dream it, you can do it.”
I think people don’t know how much power they and their thoughts have. And that’s why they neglect those.
I truly believe that you get whatever you daydream or think of during the day. We have to become aware of the fact that the universe will give each of us what we dream of the most. So use your thoughts. Life is like a GPS – it will always bring you where you want to be.
Unfortunately we are always getting trapped here. Or they give us boundaries and limits. All we hear is “you have to, you should, you can’t do this, and you’re not allowed to.” But who says that?! Who in the world has the right to tell you this?! Who sets the limits? Who says you can go until here but not further?
So if you have a dream or a wish – just do it, go for it and get it.
Experiences is what matters.


What are you most thankful for in life?

I am thankful for the life I live. Thankful for being able to live the life I want to live. Thankful for my health. I am just so thankful for so many things. And I always take the time to express my gratitude.
Of course there are also things in my life of which I could complain about. But I don’t want to. Some things didn’t work out in my life. But there are so many things that did work out. And I prefer to think about those.


Do you have dreams?

That’s an easy one – I would love to get a backpack and travel the world.


What does freedom mean to you?

Freedom means that I can do what I want. That I can look into the mirror and think that I am the person I want to be.
Also living in the moment is a feeling of freedom to me. If I had to choose whether to invest some money for later in life or to go travel with it now, I would definitely pick the traveling. Because, who knows what’s going to be later?!


Are you happy?

YES. Very happy. I have found my way and especially the way to my spirit. Ever since my body and spirit are in balance.


What was the happiest moment in your life?

Hard to answer that at this point in my life. A very, very positive moment was when my niece was born last year. Holding her in my arms was an indescribable feeling.


What was the most heartbreaking moment?

You usually think of death or loss when you hear the word heartbreaking, and luckily, I didn’t experience either of it yet. So I am very blessed.
I’m sure there will come such moment though, and when it comes, I will meditate so that I will feel comfortable and at peace again.


If you could choose – where would you live?


Definitely in Japan. I am a huge Asia-Fan and a trip there is already planned for next year. I have no idea what to expect, but I can still imagine myself living there. I just have a feeling ….